Snooki Wookie

For some reason Nicole Polizzi's "Jerz stage name" makes me think of Han Solo's right hand man, er, Wookie, Chewbacca (or Chewie if yo' nastaay). Aside from the obvious rhyming names factor, her "English" is just about as unintelligible as Chewie's language.
I will never quite understand the popularity of "Jersey Shore." In conjunction with nonsensical slash annoying viral videos of cats, the intelligence of the American people leaves much to be desired. The preference for insipid self-parodies over thought-provoking substance is a sad reality, and one in which I remain a minority social deviant.
Nevertheless, I'm interested in social norms, trends, trainwrecks, etc.-- I study them all day long at work. Like dating in Los Angeles, pop culture is something that both eludes and fascinates me-- like an Anthropological study of an African Tribe-- I observe, take notes, and try to understand despite the obvious communication barrier.
Snooki looks and sounds ridiculous, but it's her sthick and people love her for it, and even if they don't, for some reason they just can't get enough. If Reality TV was a sugary, high calorie adult beverage that tastes oh so yummy but you know you're going to regret the next day, "Jersey Shore" would be a Lemon Drop Martini and Snooki would be the sugary rim. Without her, "Jersey Shore" and the world at large would not quite be the same. Without Snooki, the social deviants like me would have no one to dissect and contemptuously ridicule.
The world needs Snooki like it needs an Apocalypse, but fame is built on wants, not needs. The ratings have spoken. The people want Snooki...until the next self-parody is invented that is.

I would like to broochify Snooki, but from a distance-- I don't know where many parts of her body have been. Since the new season is all about Italy, the "Anchors Aweigh" Brooch seems adatto. Arrivederci!