Friday, April 22nd marks my official ascent, or descent (depending on how full/empty your glass is) into my late 20's. I remember quite clearly, it was either the first or second grade and my teacher that year, whose name has escaped me, told the class her age...27...and I remember thinking, and probably out loud because, welp, I've always had a big mouth (ooops) "oh my gaawd! That is so
old." I couldn't imagine what I'd be like at 27. It seemed so distant. So obscure. And now, here it is. Like a long awaited trip you've looked forward to in nervous anticipation only to arrive at it and find that it's not at all what you expected, for better or worse. Looking back at the last 27 years, but really more like 20 'cause who the hell remembers anything before kindergarten,
really, I decided to shy away from a brooch-related post and entertain y'all with another of my fave hobbies-- musing. I'm obsessed with thinking, like ridiculously obsessed. Until someone invents a GPS for our brains, I'll probably forever be lost in thought. Something I've been thinking about a lot recently are all the valuable lessons I have learned over the years. I wrote a bunch down and the list ended up being like 100 deep before I realized I was over thinking the whole thing...go figure. I've condensed this list to 27...'cause I am
duh, and here it is...*drum roll please*
- DON'T.GET.LAZY. This mantra applies to so many areas of our lives: relationships, work, hygiene, physical fitness, etc. The second we get complacent and stop trying is the moment we give in to the easy way out.
- Accept personal responsibility for your life. Sure, there are times when external factors are totally to blame...sometimes. But 9 times out of 10 there was something we could have or shouldn't have done to curtail a certain outcome.
- Habit eventually becomes a personality trait. This can be a good or bad thing depending on the habit. Invite the good habits into your life. Kick the bad ones to the curb where they belong.
- True friends are those who will support you through both successes and gloomy days. It's amazing how easy it is for people to liberally solicit advice when they feel they're on higher ground. See if those same people are as genuine in your celebratory moments after a raise or promotion...it's a harsh reality, but important lesson nonetheless.
- Don't have expectations for other people or life, only for yourself. We have no control over others' actions, opinions, morals, perspectives, styles, moods, etc. We have no control over a vast majority of what happens on this planet. The only thing we have control over is the choices we make, which includes how we choose to react to whatever life throws at us.
- It is better to be proactive than reactive.
- Save Save Save. This applies to money, files, survival supplies, legal docs...anything of value. You never know when you might need it.
- "Kill your darlings." In life, just like writing, if something is especially difficult to let go of it's probably best that you do.
- Don't try to fit a square peg into a round hole. After enough experience with love, dating, etc. with the opposite sex I have come to realize that you can't make relationships work. They take work, for sure, but they should never be tedious. You and the other person should just fit. This includes physical, emotional and intellectual chemistry, common interests, and being in the same place in your lives and on the same page about what you both want. Embrace your differences but be realistic with yourself, your goals, and what truly makes you happy, because...
- No one should make us happy, only happier. If our happiness comes from outside sources it is merely borrowed and will leave from whence it came.
- Embrace what makes you, you. Weaknesses, strengths, and everything in between.
- Always strive for the best possible version of yourself. You will never achieve it, thus, it is a lifelong goal and journey.
- Don't say "yes" when you really mean "no."
- Don't get suckered into believing you have to buy multiples of a particular item in a grocery store to get a special deal. That's how they trick you into buying more (my Great Granny taught me that one). How many damn boxes of Mac n' Cheese do you really need anyway?!
- Practice empathy, always.
- Never become so engrossed in others' lives that you forget about your own.
- Read voraciously, from different genres, time periods, etc. The benefits greatly transcend the obvious broadened knowledge and vocabulary.
- Listen more than you speak (this one I struggle with).
- The more you talk about things you plan to do the less likely you are to actually do them.
- Travel as many places as you possibly can. Expand your horizons and cultural awareness.
- Be grateful for the things you have rather than focus on the things you don't. Don't take anyone or anything for granted.
- Money and success can buy you a lot of things, but they can't buy you love.
- Laugh at yourself often
- Don't sweat the small stuff. It's really not worth it.
- Good things really do come when we least or don't expect them to.
- Jealousy and coveting are a big, silly waste of time. The grass isn't greener on the other side, which leads me to the last and final finis hasta la pasta...
- Life is all about perception. How we perceive the world is based on so many factors and has such a major impact on our lives. This is why reading about a myriad of people and subjects, travelling, and opening yourself up to new experiences that challenge your views and broaden your understanding of the world, is so crucial for achieving what, in my opinion, is the ultimate level of existence...spiritual Enlightenment.
And the Encore...
28. Surround yourself with positive people who encourage and motivate you. We truly are mirror reflections of the company we keep.
