Under Your Skin

*Pictured "Under Your Skin" love bead bracelets. Containing onyx and wood beads with gold plated bead spacers. Email for price!

There are the ones we love and the ones who get under our skin. The deeper they get, the harder they are to let go of.
I saw the movie "Like Crazy" last night, which touches on this very subject. Actually, "touch" is a bit of an understatement. *Spoiler Alert* The film literally 'gets under your skin' as you become deeply absorbed in this young, doomed couple who are sorting out the complexities of a long distance relationship while embarking on their respective careers. Scenes of them in social settings-- she in London, he in LA-- depict them as distracted, not fully present in their surroundings. He finds himself in a new relationship with a hot blonde who is ridiculously in love with him, and you almost get the sense that he has moved on...but...as soon as the Brit texts him, he is right back with her emotionally. Over the course of a few years they battle with immigration (because she violated her student visa after graduating college) and the emotional turmoil of not being able to be with the one you love. At the end of the film, they are finally able to be with each other in the same place, but the ending is ambiguous. There are flash backs to when the couple first met-- the newness of young love; the excitement and purity of it-- and the brief moments of happiness when they were reunited again and again. It is clear by the end of the film that they are not the same. Their relationship is not the same.
I left the theater with many questions: Do they stay together? Was that itchy, yearning, under-your-skin crazy love they felt for each other heightened simply by the fact that they couldn't be together, which made them more desirable? Were the long periods of separation followed by short spurts of togetherness enough to build a lasting relationship? Most of what they were building in their young professional lives, they had built apart from each other.
What I walked away with was this feeling of something bittersweet brewed up from memories of young love. In those new and wonderful moments, nothing else seems to exist or matter. There is just the two of you and you are going to be together forever...and then life happens. It's just there, in your face and suddenly, you realize that you are not in control like you thought you were.
My sequel story to "Like Crazy," which I would title, "Like, Really Crazy," or something along those lines, would see the couple staying together. Not in some dramatic Hollywood "yeah right" sort of way. They have an uphill battle for sure, but they will fight for their relationship together and make it work. The logical, non-pretend-director me isn't so convinced, though. In my own experiences, it never quite works out the way you want it to. I suppose someday it will, but it will be much different. More grown-up and real. Less fervent and impulsive. Now the dates I go on are experienced in a very practical manner, taking the usual points into consideration: compatibility, career, long term goals, could we build a future together? Is he stable and reliable?... In our late twenties it is difficult to not approach things this way. We are all a bit more guarded, sometimes emotionally scarred-- we've all experienced heartache. So it makes perfect sense that at a certain point you just get practical. All the gusto and crazy-under-your-skin feelings were expended on the first ones. The youthful ones that came with no strings attached, no expectations, or deadlines or ultimatums. No biological clock screaming "it's time girl! Your eggs are dying!"
It would be nice if things could work out with that one who gets under your skin. I am both envious and happy for the people who find this sort of love and hold on to it for dear life. Or maybe they separate for awhile and get reunited-- I love those stories the best. I am steadfast in my belief that you end up right where you are are supposed to be when you let fate do it's thing. If it's meant to be, it will be. If it's not, let it be. We've all tried to force situations that aren't right, if not physically, in our own minds. We justify behaviors, words...dissecting them until they are shredded into indecipherable pieces. And for what? Piece of mind? We never achieve it that way.
The day I realized that a great many questions we have, especially pertaining to love, will never be answered, was the day I let go of things I realized I couldn't control and regained control over myself. Of course, I want that crazy, under-your-skin love again. I look forward to the day that my solo home becomes a couple home and hopefully a family home. I will welcome all of this when it feels right. When the stars are aligned. When fate is in control.